12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he laminated a picture of his dick.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I want her autograph on my taint
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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