It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You are a genius and a whore.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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