its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
