We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
