i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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