Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You're like the curious george of whores
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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