I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
