grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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