Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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