so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
