I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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