Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
