I think my vagina is haunted
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I looked at my own cervix.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
