Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
