awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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