The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
