Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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