I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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