You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
