pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
