I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
