I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The Olympian is in my bed
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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