nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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