Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
