Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
