erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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