We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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