the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
