Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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