C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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