Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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