we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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