okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
