Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
