So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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