so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
