Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
