Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
