I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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