well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
