Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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