Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
