I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
