A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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