i just made my gag reflex go away.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
