I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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