U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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