I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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