I cockslap morals
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
