U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
