i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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