After last night, I could never be a politician.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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